How to harness the voice in your head

Reading Time: 5 Minutes

What to Expect:

• A simple self-talk challenge

• A self-talk training plan

Aaron Donald will go down as one of the best defensive linemen in the history of the NFL.

It's no surprise... look at the guy.

It'd be a close match between these two.

At any rate... Aaron clearly works very hard to be great at what he does. But one of the less visible parts of his work ethic we're only aware of because he participated in a mic'd up game for the NFL.

Check this out:

Aaron's a master of the voice in his own head. He's worked at it.

I respect if you want to close the article right now and go lift weights or something. No offense taken.

Getting to this level of internal dialogue takes some consistent effort. Aaron is a human just like the rest of us, and that means that, at one point, somewhere between 70 and 80% of his thoughts were negative. Though I don't assume negative means unhelpful, for most people, that amount of negativity is something they'd prefer to do away with.

Aaron seems to have mastered how to do it in the most critical moments.

You can too.

Self-talk is a powerful tool that we use to communicate with ourselves. It's the internal dialogue that we have with ourselves that can either lift us up or bring us down. In other words, it's the voice in our head that can either be supportive or critical. The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant impact on our overall well-being and performance.

For example, a meta-analysis by Tod, Hardy, & Oliver (2011) found that talking to yourself in a positive, instructional, or motivational way (versus a negative, self-critical way) enhances performance. Other studies have shown that self-talk training programs can improve sports performance, work engagement, and teamwork. Positivity really goes a long way.

You can run an experiment for yourself right now. Get in a squat position, and hold it for 20 seconds. While you're in position, try repeating negative thoughts in your head (things like "you suck" or "you're weak" will do the trick).

Then, give yourself a break, and try again.

This time, repeat more uplifting thoughts (like "You've got this" and "You're strong").

Now, just subjectively rate which one seemed longer or shorter, easier or harder.

Every athlete or group of athletes I've run this experiment with unanimously acknowledges that negative self-talk makes the exercise feel worse, harder, and longer.

Another study found that self-talk can even impact our immune system. Researchers found that when participants were asked to think positively and use positive self-talk, their immune systems responded by producing more antibodies. Conversely, when participants were asked to think negatively and use negative self-talk, their immune systems produced fewer antibodies.

Perhaps the most obvious link is the connection between negative self-talk and a low mood. Studies on negative thoughts across cultures show that negative thinking is a near-universal feature of depressed mood. The lower our mood, the lower our energy - the worse our performance.

Become your own best coach

Here's a science-backed self-talk program you can use to level up the way you coach yourself.

1. Become aware of your self-talk: The first step in improving your self-talk is to become aware of it. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself throughout the day. Are you using positive or negative self-talk? Once you become aware of your self-talk, you can start to make changes. The easiest way to identify negative or unhelpful self-talk is to look for key words: never, always, should, have to... plus all the not-so-nice things you say about yourself that you're afraid to repeat out loud.

2. Challenge negative self-talk: When you notice that you're using negative self-talk, challenge it. Some simple challenges: what evidence do you have? How is this thought helping you? What would it mean if this were not true?

3. Practice the positive: I'm not here to tell you to write down how much you love yourself on your mirror, though if that works for you, I support it. Rather, what's most helpful is practicing saying things that are positive and helpful to yourself that you believe to be true. Develop the skill of thinking more positively to yourself.

4. Integrate positive self-talk into your daily routines. This involves finding opportunities to practice positive self-talk throughout the day, such as during exercise or while completing daily tasks.

5. Monitoring progress: This involves tracking changes in self-talk patterns and evaluating the effectiveness of the program over time.

You want to become a scientist about your own inner voice.

What works? What doesn't work? What fires you up, and what holds you back? How do you feel when you coach yourself positively? What about when you're more self-critical?

Not all your self-talk has to be positive - sometimes, negative self-talk or critical self-talk can work for people. But, chances are it's not as effective as it could be in our brain's default 80/20 ratio. You're still going to have your tough moments, and that's okay. When it matters most, you want to be training your own inner Aaron Donald.

The goal is to just find an inner voice that consistently promotes performance.